Rehoming

The past couple of weeks here in Arkansas, a lot of attention has been paid to Justin Harris and his wife Marsha. They are parents to three biological sons and then adopted two little girls from foster care. When things became difficult with the girls, (because of circumstances that happened to them prior to coming into the Harris home), this couple "rehomed" them to a family that has three children adopted internationally. The father of this "new home" is serving time now for sexually molesting the oldest of these two girls. For the most part Arkansans are calling for this man's head on a platter and are signing petitions for him to step down from his position as a State Representative. I will be honest and say that I don't know whether he should step down or not. If the chaos surrounding his actions regarding the rehoming of these two little girls hinders his ability to serve the people of his district, then yes, I believe he should step down and let someone take over that position that can be focused on the matters of the State without all the distractions. Now to the issue of rehoming these children. I have tried to read the comments on social media about this issue and it is very obvious that there are only a few of the people responding that have dealt with children with RAD or other issues resulting from severe abuse and neglect. Not everyone is made to parent children that hurt themselves, act out sexually, destroy property, steal, lie, harm pets, etc. There is not a scale to measure the depth of damage done to them by their biological family or family friend or whomever has done the most unspeakable things we can ever imagine to these children. Most "normal" parents are not equipped to understand, much less, deal with the issues these children bring to their families. I have been a part of the adoption community for a very long time. I have seen and heard horror stories. Even Jenna and Desi came to us with "issues". Thankfully we were able to work through everything and did not have to consider "rehoming" them. I do not fault this couple for trying to find a new home for these girls. What I do blame them for is the way they did it. A quick Google search will bring up agencies and attorneys that can/will help you find a new adoptive family that is more adequately equipped to handle the issues that these children had/have. On Facebook you can find a site called, "Second Chance Adoptions". There are a number of children there right now looking for new adoptive families. This agency screens all prospective adoptive parents. They must have gone through background checks and have a current home study. THIS is the correct way to "rehome" children. A few years back there was a story written about "rehoming" incidents that had gone really bad. Parents were sending their internationally adopted children to families they had never even met, much less had background checks or home studies done. Some of these children ended up dead :-( This is why there is a right way and wrong way to "rehome". There are times when things just do not work out. It's not the child's fault, it's not the adoptive parents fault. It could be that the original adoptive parents were called to bring a child home to be obedient to God's calling, but HE had a different forever family waiting for them. Sometimes we cannot understand God's plan, but we know it will always be better than ours. A lot has come out in the past two days about the Harris's seeing demons coming out of the children and having exorcisms performed on the girls. Then there are accusations of them locking them in bedrooms with no toys and being monitored by cameras, etc. I don't know that we will ever know exactly what went on in their house. Eric and Marsha Harris are professing Christians and I will not ever question that. If the accusations against them are true, then one day they will stand before God and explain to Him why. As Christians it is not our job to judge them. I figure this will continue to play out in the media until the Harris family is destroyed. Sadly our culture today is out for blood. I will pray for them and their family. I will pray for the little girls. I will pray for Eric Francis (the man currently serving prison time for molestation) and his family. And I will pray for the new family that has legally adopted these little girls. There is a lot of healing needed for all parties involved. Sometimes adoption is just hard. There is brokenness that takes years and years to overcome. It doesn't always work out the way we want. Children are a blessing from God. We should remember that and do everything we can to make sure they are placed into homes that are prepared to take on whatever challenges each one of them bring to our table. And lastly, I really do not like the word "rehome". You "rehome" animals and I think there needs to be another term used to describe finding a child a new adoptive family. I like Second Chance Adoptions, because really, that's what it is. A second chance to find an adoptive family and home. James 1:27 - Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

Welcome!!

Welcome to my little blog. I have blogged about our adoptions and our family before, but this blog will be about our daily life raising two beautiful daughters from China and maybe some things that I feel like giving my opinion on. Some of it will be funny (because quite honestly, I've got one kid that could make a living in comedy), some of it will be serious (because we're raising kids of a different race), some of it will be spiritual (we are Jesus loving freaks here folks), some will be medical and some will just be for me to record the happenings of our family life. As I grow older (notice I did not say I am OLD) I find that my memory isn't what it used to be. Maybe one day my kids will look back on this blog and get some comfort and laughs after Steve and I are gone. So, let's get started here by talking about the name. For those that know Jenna and Desi, this title makes perfect sense. They dance. They spin, they twirl, they tap, they make up their own dances,,,, They.love.dance and hence, the leotard reference in the title. Then, they ARE Chinese and my girls would eat Lo Mein noodles every single day of their life if they could. Seriously. I'm surprised they haven't turned into noodles. Is it because they like the taste or is it in their DNA to like noodles? Not a clue. What I do know, is my bank account has taken a hard hit because of Lo Mein noodles and so Lo Mein gets a place in the title. Yes, it's kind of funny sounding, but it is so representative of our family right now ;-) Sometimes people have questions about our family. For example: Why did you choose China and not the U.S. to adopt from? Why/how did your kids end up in orphanages? Why don't Chinese people like little girls? How much did it cost? If there's something you'd like to know, please ask. Really. I try not to run away from these questions. Before adopting, these were things I wanted to know too!!! Is there something you want to know? Ask away!!! Psalm 68:5 Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.